Like a Moth to the Flambé
March 1st, 2011 § Leave a Comment
Myrah, my cat, has caught on fire. Twice. The first time I lit a candle she became fascinated by it. Mesmerized. She continued to force her nose closer and closer to that tealight sized flame. She was not deterred by her whisker ends turning black, curling in like the Wicked Witch of the East’s feet, the odor of burning plastic filling the air or even just the survival instinct to stay away from extreme heat. No, nothing would stop her from touching Fire. Unfortunately Fire isn’t the cuddly sort, as you get closer it continues to push you away and if that means making a little less of you, that’s okay with Fire.
She went for a different tactic the next time the irresistible draw of heat scratched her furry head. Shortly after her first encounter, Myrah came to visit me in the kitchen, noticed that I was opening a hot oven and thought “hey, I could jump in there.” I caught her as her front legs left the ground and her back legs prepared to leap.
I became a little more cautious with my pyromaniacal cat. Not quite cautious enough ’cause some time later I let my guard down.
The allure of filling my house with the fresh scent of wild berry and clove overcame me and I lit a second candle. Not wanting to repeat the burning whiskers episode the candle was placed on a table, a table Myrah didn’t usually stand on and that I was sitting next to. Lulled into contented passivity by the candle’s subtle scent and darkly flickering flame I missed Myrah jumping onto the table, missed her deciding to warm her belly…cook her belly…over this same flame. Her long calico fur crackled in a fur and flame dance of explosive attraction.
“Myrah. Get down.”
Ever dutiful, she did. Whether it was just the right time or if it was her moving that created the final spark isn’t so important. No, what was important was watching my cat jump off a wooden table, onto carpet and dash from the room, all while on fire. Here is an interesting discovery. That outer wispy fur on a long-haired cat burns fast. The thicker inner fur needs a little more of something to keep a flame going. In other words, my house was safe and my cat was safe because her fur was quickly extinguished. She was quite happy, because her burned, matted fur was brushed off. She loves to be brushed.
Myrah, obviously, doesn’t remember any of these occurrences. That’s kind of her philosophy – why worry about the past when the present is so exciting.
I’ve stopped lighting candles and have come to realize that my winter’s will never again be accompanied by the flickering warmth of a fire.
This post has been in the works for many months only it never seemed like quite the right time. Presently, I know quite a few cats and owners that are feeling like life is more of a raging fire than a belly up, curled paws cat nap. This post went up this week in order to honor all of the crazy cats that we love because…because life should burn warm like a flame — makes it more fun.
No cats were harmed in the making of this post.
Banana Flambé
Bananas, sliced – 1 banana
Brown Sugar – 1 tablespoon
Butter – 1 tablespoon
Cinnamon – 1 pinch
Brandy – 1 tablespoon
Heat brandy in a small pot over lowish heat. Melt butter, brown sugar and cinnamon together in a skillet. Add in bananas and saute for a little bit. Turning banana slices once. Turn off heat. Pour in brandy, light with match. Applause flambé. Don’t touch the fire.
There was supposed to be a real recipe this week. Several months ago, I used Interlibrary loan to check out The Pyromaniac’s Cookbook: the Best in Flaming Food and Drink by John J. Poister. There were all kinds of recipes – the classic fruit flambés, coq au vin flambé, carrots or mushroom flambés… There were funny quotes. I wrote them all down, preparing for this post. Absolutely no idea what happened to these notes. However, I feel that I remembered the most important lesson — heat your liquor.
Beer Bread vs Beer-battered Onion Rings XLV
February 2nd, 2011 § 1 Comment
S – Superstitious
Start knocking on wood, get out your lucky coin…bring on the good luck charms. Desperately wanting a goal — such as winning a game – brings out the superstitious in people. If you’re the gambling sort you might try putting an onion under your pillow while you sleep in order to see the future — though it might just show a vision of your future husband. If you would rather try to turn luck to your side you might keep an onion in your pocket or make sure that only one end of the bread is cut and that the last heel is left uneaten.
U — USA Today
Anheuser-Busch won the USA Today Super Bowl Ad Meter in 1999. This was also the first time any beer won the real-time battle. Over the next nine years the mega-brewery battled against itself as Budweiser and Bud Light alternately took the lead until the country finally decided to absorb all that alcohol with Doritos.
P – Precedent
The AFL-NFL World Championship Game, now known as Super Bowl I, was played on January 15, 1967. The Green Bay Packers won against the Kansas City Chiefs and then went on to win three more. The Pittsburgh Steelers didn’t make it in until game IX which they won. They’ve won five more since then.
E – Eleven
The average Super Bowl ring is size 11. They are specifically designed for the winning team and weighted down in gems that can glint brightly enough to be seen laying on a dirt path from a moving wagon or so former Cowboy Bob Lilly and his wife learned. The NFL puts $5,000 toward each ring, but the team is only hindered by the generosity of their fans.
R – Recliner
We are not a dry world, apparently. Which ancient culture first drank fermented grains is impossible to say. It seems as if everyone did. In fact it seems that once beer came along all we really wanted to do was find ways to drink more and since we all know how dangerous it is to drink and roam we started to settle down. Once we had time to sit we needed comfortable places to sit and things to entertain us in our sitting. Of course the more comfortable the sitting, the longer we sat. Which meant we needed still more comfortable sitting places. Until 1928 when the NFL was still in elementary school and cousins, Edward Knabusch and Edwin Shoemaker, built the La-Z-Boy. It was an instant success. In later years Super Bowl ring wearers Joe Namath and Don Shula starred in La-Z-Boy commercials.
B – Bread
Beer and bread are simply meant to go together. In Ancient Egypt they were one and the same. Bread was fermented into beer. I’ve decided to take a cue from them, but do the exact opposite. Beer is great at providing moisture and helping bread rise without the use of yeast or rising times.
O — Onions
So good they’ll make you cry. Really. Also an ancient Egyptian staple — which wasn’t such a bad choice as the sum of its layers may help guard against chronic disease. Not that this is thought of when its batter-dripping rings are placed into a skillet of popping oil.
W — Winner
Both the Packers and the Steelers made it into the Super Bowl the year after playing their first Bowl Game. They both won the first coin toss and lost the second coin toss. They both won these consecutive games.
L – Leinenkugel
German-born Jacob Leinenkugel started his first brewery in 1867 in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin. He was just carrying on the family tradition that had started nearly a hundred years earlier in Germany. Chippewa Falls is about 180 miles from Green Bay.
X – Xylem
Hops, barley, wheat, and onions are all vascular plants which means water and nutrients are carried through the plant by a vasculatory system known as the xylem. Let’s all give a cheer for the xylem.
L – Longboard Island Lager
The Kona Brewing Co started in February 1995 and started selling their beer, Longboard, in 1998. Pennsylvania has plenty of breweries, but when I couldn’t find a PA beer Hawaii raised its colorful cardboard six-pack up as an alternative as it doesn’t have its own major league sports team. However, longboard surfing has been around for well over a hundred years and requires immense athletic skill. Mapquest, Google and Google Earth all refused to provide directions from HI to PA.
V – Value
Companies will be paying about $3 million for each 30 second commercial spot for XLV – that’s an increase of half a million dollars from last year. Assuming one 12-ounce can or bottle costs $1 each bought as part of a six-pack retail (I like to keep my math easy) that’s 3 million beers. You can be sure they won’t stop at just one.
Beer Bread
Adapted from vegweb.com which was adapted from Food Network. Honestly — every beer bread recipe I found seemed to be the same one.
1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
1 ½ cups whole wheat flour
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons sugar
3 tablespoons melted butter
12 ounces Leinenkeugel beer (or any beer of choice)
Pre-heat oven to 375°. Grease and flour a loaf pan. Mix together dry ingredients. Add in beer and butter and mix briefly. Scoop out into baking dish. Bake about 50 minutes. Let cool for few minutes. Remove from pan and let cool the rest of the way or cut your first slice.
The other recipes called for 3 tablespoons – ¼ cup sugar, but the Leinenkeugel is a sweet beer so I cut back. In the future I would love to try this with a little rye flour and a dark beer.
Beer-battered Onion Rings
Adapted from Cooking Light
1 onion
⅔ cup flour
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon black pepper
½ teaspoon paprika
⅓ cup Longboard beer (or any beer of choice)
1 egg
vegetable oil
Cut onion into thick rings. Combine flour, salt, pepper and paprika. Mix in egg and beer. Heat a couple teaspoons vegetable oil in a skillet. Heat oven to 400°. Dip onion rings in batter then cook a couple minutes on each side in the oil until golden. Remove to a baking sheet. Repeat until the baking sheet is full of onion. Place in oven and cook about 10 minutes until crisp.
