Imaginary Tigers Love Imaginary Tuna Salad Sandwiches
June 8th, 2011 § Leave a Comment
Do you believe there are consequences?
Well, there is the idea of karma or heaven and hell.
What if we strapped an extra tank onto this
kitchen blow torch?
Giraffes and zebras lay peacefully in the grass
while elephants drank water from the lake.
None suspected that a recent nuclear spill had mutated
a herd of lions, now prowling the once peaceful savannah.
If we weren’t supposed to play with our food,
they wouldn’t make animal crackers.
Uggh, what is this? I’m not eating this. It looks like boogers.
Honey, he’s finally caught on.
No, really? Not bad.
Relax, of course it isn’t.
It’s just a fondness for a little Calvin and Hobbes reading before bed in order to scare away the monsters under the bed after sneaking in a scary movie.
If you look up recipes for vegan or fake or faux tuna salad you get something like this. However, to me, it seems more like egg salad. A search for vegan or fake or faux egg salad will get you a lot of the same recipes. In choosing to make this I wanted neither egg nor tuna salad. I did want chickpea salad. If you don’t feel like this makes much sense…you should stop thinking those thoughts and go have fun before time is up.
Chickpea Salad
1 can chickpeas
3 spoonfuls mayonnaise
2 dollops Dijon mustard
2 green onions
juice of one small lemon
pinch nutritional yeast
pinch salt
pinch black pepper
2 pinches paprika
Smash up the chickpeas. Mix in all the rest. Slather between two pieces of bread.
Meals to Die by, no. 13
April 27th, 2011 § Leave a Comment
Start you’re head boppin’, your heels tappin’, you might even slap your thigh. Today we will examine death through popular song.
There are different levels of murder. Or, at least so it goes when it comes to punishment.
From the authorized that go by different names. To the I’ll hand you the poison, but I’m not putting it in his drink. To the oops. Which is far away from the that’s right I did it, so what? And the I had to ’cause one of us was going to die and I didn’t want it to be me.
Where on this list Mary Ann and Wanda fit in I will look past at this time. I will also ignore whether or not Mary Ann and Wanda fit into the same category. In part ’cause the song doesn’t either. Nope the song isn’t so concerned with punishment for murder.
Instead let’s listen again to the peppiest song about domestic abuse, murder and getting away with murder. Also known as black comedy — which makes this song perfect for Meals to Die by.
Na, na-na-na, naaah-ah-aaah.
I’m back. Growing up in Austin, country was far from a genre I listened to. Then I got older, “started looking for a bright new world” and discovered that I also lived in Texas and that I knew a lot of people who lived in Texas. These best of friends, they helped me learn that sometimes a little country isn’t so bad. ‘Cause sometimes someone’s just gotta die.
A little bit of time might be spent wondering why black-eyed peas, as I did. I didn’t figure it out until I was taking the croquette’s photo. They’re little black eyes. Okay – maybe that’s a little too corny. The real truth could be that black-eyed peas are a traditional southern dish and “Goodbye Earl” is the tale of a couple southern gals. Maybe, but I prefer chuckling over my reason.
Black Eyed Pea and Quinoa Croquettes
from Vegan with a Vengeance by Isa Chandra Moskowitz (yes, again)
1 15-ounce can black-eye peas
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoons soy sauce (equals to two of those little take out packets)
1 cup cooked quinoa (cooked according to package directions)
½ teaspoon dried thyme
½ teaspoon dried basil
1 teaspoon paprika
½ bread crumbs
zest of 1 lemon
salt and pepper
In one bowl mash up the black-eyed peas. Add in 1 tablespoon olive oil and soy sauce. Add in the quinoa. Add in the thyme, basil and paprika. In a second bowl mix together the bread crumbs, zest, salt, pepper and 2 tablespoons olive oil.
Heat oven to 350. Lightly oil a baking sheet.
Roll spoonfuls of the black-eyed pea mixture into flattened discs. Roll in the bread crumbs. Place onto the baking sheet. Bake until…well, honestly, I’m not sure what the done state is supposed to be like. Until the bread crumb coating has become crispy and golden brown. According to the recipe this takes about 40 minutes.
These, by the way, are quite tasty and I was very pleasantly surprised by how the quinoa added to the texture. I made 17 croquettes out of this amount.
