“Don’t worry, everything is different now,” a friend called to me in farewell.
“Nothing’s different. I’m still the exact same person,” I yelled back to my friend. Or maybe I just thought this. Perhaps the only verbal statement I made was “Guffaw” as I turned again toward my car.
This friend only intended to say be happy, don’t give up, you’re only experiencing a minor set back following the happiness of dreams realized. I, however, was very much interested in shooing away these dreams because they were causing me misery. We all arrive at those times when our dreams feel unachievable, and our efforts to pursue them depressingly futile. Generally we (as sensible, well-adjusted beings) know how to handle them — put on your favorite pair of skull and crossbone boxers, paint your toenails black and stop listening to NPR.
Of course, this isn’t a fool proof plan. Your favorite boxers are in the laundry, the NPR report over the unfulfillable dream at a time when you’re faced with another work anniversary and trying to envision your work future isn’t expected. The bad economy, the rise in malaria cases, the drought — those you expect. Expecting allows for preparing. Hearing how pursuing without achieving a dream can actually make you more miserable then settling isn’t everyday news. You turn off the radio, you switch to a classic rock station, but it’s too late. You heard how realizing the dream will still make you the happiest. You heard that there is no test to determine when or which dreams to give up. The questions have started.
Do I continue pursuing my dreams despite harm to health and wealth? Do I stop? Do I try and focus more? Maybe get rid of some while keeping others?
I think the answer is in balance. I love this chocolate sorbet, but on its own I can’t eat too much. Though I crave more, its chocolate strength is best in small amounts. Add in a scoop of strawberry sorbet and suddenly it’s balanced. And I can gobble it away. Dream realized. Score one for me.
I’m telling myself that without any cream or milk or eggs this sorbet is practically health food. I might be telling myself this because I ate it all myself. This is great sorbet, but make it at your own risk. These sorbets might be cursed. More than once they have led to the breaking of plans looked forward to.