I’m Not a Celebrity Chef, but I Can Cook Tomato Slices Like One

Tomato Slices with Salt and Pepper

3 ripe tomatoes with a 3 inch diameter
2 teaspoons freshly cracked pepper
2 teaspoons sea salt

Rinse tomatoes. Using the sharp tip of a knife remove the tomato core by cutting out a circle with a ¼ inch margin around the stem. Using the sharp side of a knife, cut each tomato into slices 3/8 of an inch thick. Cut a sliver off the rounded ends so that they will lay flat. Discard sliver. When all tomatoes are sliced, lay the slices flat and without overlapping on a cutting board. Sprinkle each slice with a pinch teaspoon ground pepper. Sprinkle each slice with a pinch teaspoon sea salt. Let the tomato slices rest at room temperature for 10 minutes. Rest* yourself at room temperature for 7 minutes. With the remaining three minutes prep a serving plate by choosing one from the cabinet. Following the rim of the plate, arrange the slices in a circle. Overlap each slice by 1 inch.

Serve the plate of tomato slices to eagerly waiting, hungry, anticipatory guests. Be sure to supply knife and fork. You may also include instructions on proper eating – each slice should be eaten in single wedges.

Next up: Bowl of olives with toothpicks on the side

Can’t Let a Good Thing Die says: If you do a search for “Dark Chocolate as a Snack” on the Food Network website you see an option for a recipe titled the same. The result from clicking on the link is instead a recipe for cookies. The comments…reviews, thankfully, don’t let it slide. They also informed me that this change happened around February 2011. What is perhaps best is that making this deceptive change prompted comments again after a three month stop.

1 for me + 2 for you = 3 for all says: Seeing recipes like these make me sad for the world. Seeing the comments make me hopeful for the world. I’d like everyone to have this hope, which is why I’m sharing. If you know of other recipes of a similar flavor please also share.

Chef Shmef says: I’m not a chef. I don’t pretend to be one either. Really, recipes are here by demand. I ask readers what they thought about the writing and they tell me what they thought of the food. Ah, well. I’m not a chef. Which is why I get to laugh at the absurdity of popular celebrity cooking. For those readers who are not so fluent in internet click the colored words in the recipe above. They will take you to another world.

Luv 4 U says: This post would not have been possible if it were not for my friends and family who both love cooking and love absurdities. Without them I wouldn’t even know these existed. And I would, unknowingly, be a little sadder.

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