I’ve heard this rumor that, in life, people are supposed to show excitement over things they are a fan of. I recently heard this described as “geeking out.” For some reason this is considered a plus. Generally, I try to play life cool. Whatevs. I try my best not to be a fan of anything. Or at least, not to let it show. Success isn’t always achieved. Instead, I get excited over something. I geek out. I become a fan who follows and likes and references. Then, I smile, I squeal, I plan and talk non-stop about Cakew…uhh…this particular something or other. Then I stop, lean back all cool like, roll my eyes. Whatevs.
I will go so far and no further. I will bake cupcakes with sprinkles in advance. I will plan to get off work early (15 minutes counts). I will show up, but when the guy in the yellow vest giving me directions says to turn at the sign that says “a-particular-nickname-that-is-a-take-on-the-name-of-the-something-or-other-and-given-to-all-who-are-fans” I will snicker.
I will laugh. I will view. I will clap and cheer. I will eat (really good) cake (with really good fondant). (Did anyone out there know that fondant could taste good?) I will not ask questions. I will not say where I was last night.
Chances are I would be much cooler if I embraced my fan-ness with devoted geeking out. But, I’ve never, ever achieved coolness.
But then, if I were truly cool I couldn’t be a fan at all. Who wants to be cool? Which is why I get to keep geeking out apathetically.
Jelly Doughnut Cupcakes
adapted from…see note *
1 cup unsweetened almond milk
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
1 ¼ cups flour
2 tablespoons corn starch
¾ teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
some ground nutmeg
⅓ cup sunflower oil
¾ cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
12 heaping teaspoons strawberry jelly
Combine the almond milk and apple cider vinegar and set aside. (By the way, at this point you are just creating fake buttermilk.) Combine the flour, corn starch, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg in one large bowl. I really couldn’t tell you how much nutmeg – not having ground nutmeg I grated a little whole nutmeg into the bowl until it smelled good.
Mix the oil, sugar and vanilla into the buttermilk creation. Add this mixture to the flour. Oh yeah, at some point put some cupcake liners into the muffin tin and turn on the oven to 350°. Put 3 large spoonfuls of batter into each cupcake liner. Add in one heaping teaspoon of strawberry jelly. Top with one more spoonful of batter. Bake in the oven until done — lightly browned and all that. Again, no idea on how long. Though the original* recipe says about 20 minutes. I don’t think it took that long, but then again, I wasn’t looking at a clock. Here’s an interesting fact for you — I don’t have a clock located in my kitchen/living area.
Anyway, take the pans out of the oven. Remove the cupcakes to a cooling rack and let cool completely.
Chocolate doughnut glaze
from Better Homes and Gardens New Cookbook
1 ½ ounces unsweetened chocolate
2 tablespoons butter
1 ½ cups powdered sugar
I wrote the ingredients as stated in the book, however I didn’t follow them very well. It probably would have been better if I had. I wanted to make half the amount, didn’t measure anything and misread both the ounces part and the boiling part. I wasn’t paying much attention.
What the recipe says to do is melt the chocolate and butter. Let cool. Beat in sifted powdered sugar. Add enough water to obtain drizzling consistency.
Put a little glaze on each cupcake (you really just need something for the sprinkles to stick to).
sprinkles (the multi-colored variety)
Sprinkle a layer of sprinkles over each cupcake.
*Note: Here’s the story, I first made Jelly Doughnut Cupcakes over two years ago before this blog happened. They were from the recipe by the same (I think) name found in Veganomicon. When evaluating my cupcake choices for today’s post I decided on these. However, I don’t own this cookbook — a friend does. I made an attempt to find it at the library (it was not a rigorous search) and turned to the web. I stopped at the author’s site (and if you click the title above you will also find yourself there) where I found “Vanilla Bean Cupcakes with Chocolate Ganache”. The author says this particular recipe is based on “Vegan Cupcakes Take Over The World.” Reading it, however, it also seems a lot like the original recipe I was searching for. I asked the internet and the internet responded with “yes, but without the spices.” At this point I’m really not sure if these are based on “Vanilla Bean…,” “…Take Over The World,” “Jelly Doughnut…,” or the internet’s “…based on Jelly Doughnut…” I guess it means that a cupcake has created a debate on rights and collective consciousness and ownership. That, I suppose, is a post for a different day.
By the way, I love how the jelly fell to the bottom of the cupcakes creating a little smiling monster inside each and every one. It’s like they are also saying “We love you Cakewrecks!”
Monsters geek out over everything — killing, eating, scaring, cake. Monsters would probably own every book, calendar, apron, t-shirt, pin and carrot jockey necklace in addition to entering the Wreckplica contest. I roll my eyes and snicker at you monsters.