Before setting off on your own day trip road trip, make sure to read this important list. It’s filled with helpful tips gleaned from my own experiences.
The weekday day trip road trip is preferable to one on the weekend. It’s more forbidden.
The only day it is acceptable to wake up early is when you are leaving a city in order to have fun in a different city.
Yes, your world revolves around you, but that’s not the same as the whole world. Just because you aren’t driving to or from work doesn’t mean others aren’t. Expect traffic and plan accordingly.
Be sure to have rockin’ upbeat music to start your trip. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as your head doesn’t stop boppin’ and your hands won’t stop tappin’. You can pull out something more mellow for the first leg of your return journey.
Know your limits. The day trip can easily start to feel more like a road trip if you haven’t determined your driving and having fun limits. Be conservative. Underestimating is better than overestimating.
You will not want to leave the end destination. You might throw a tantrum like a four year old. It is expected and accepted that large portions of your trip will be spent in fantasizing about buying many of the abandoned vintage buildings located in the numerous small towns you have to drive through because this way of life is relaxing. Life is not a day trip road trip.
Everything will be funny. “Ghostburgers! Ha, ha, snicker, what’s a ghostburger? Sounds like diet food to me! Ha, ha, ha…”
All fish are called Fishey and you should say “Hi Fishey” to each one you see. You wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true and if the fish weren’t friendly that way. This is in fact true for most cute critters. The next time you see a lizard or a butterfly or a moose be sure to wave and say “Hi Fishey.” They’ll appreciate it.
You will find everything funny.
Bring a book you can get lost in when reading. This is important because no matter how good the book is, when reading at home, it can be hard to forget that you are at home. That the cat is crying, the floor needs to be swept, the laundry needs to be moved from the washer to the dryer, and so on.
When choosing a book if you happen across one that has a “done” list left inside the front cover from its previous reader put it back. No matter how intriguing the book sounds anyone who is writing detailed lists of the things they did in a day is struggling — struggling in life or struggling in a relationship. This is the wrong karma to bring with you on a day trip road trip. If the list includes “cooked gourmet breakfast, cooked gourmet dinner” put the book down immediately. This is too much pressure.
Do you know those people who cook food for a trip? You aren’t one of them. Day trip road trips are designed for snack food. The exact food is directly related to the length of time in the car and whether or not you have a way to keep the food cold. Chances are you will be eating at a time or place that is out of the norm. Bring food that doesn’t need to be refrigerated and is easily transported. Say Peanut Butter and Jelly with a side of fresh Cherries. Neither the peanut butter nor the jelly needs to be homemade because that would require too much advance preparation. Advance preparation should be spent on writing down directions.
Cell phones are not required.
If you reach the end of your day trip and you haven’t behaved like a fool or giggled in embarrassment you haven’t done it correctly. Go back and repeat.
To those of you who successfully completed the day trip road trip I tip my oversized, floppy brimed hat at you.