Yesterday was the three year anniversary of this site. Starting out, did I think I would be here at three?
Let’s go with no.
I never thought this…this in all its entirety this…would be my life. Looking back, this seems nothing but predictable. What did I expect? I don’t know, higher level success, less of the feeling that I work really hard all for nothing. There is no dog biscuit at the end of my walk. But, that doesn’t mean this has all been for naught. At least I still got a walk — a walk full of new smells, people, dogs, and on occasion a stick to carry.
This past May I told someone that it felt as if my life started over about six years ago. The statement feels true, but after saying this single sentence to try and explain me to someone I didn’t know very well, it felt a little too…packaged. Nothing is that simple and the slightly more complex, yet still simple, addition is that I started over again about three years ago.
This blog hasn’t always been easy. Learning to express emotion with the full knowledge that I am willingly putting myself out there for everyone to read has been hard. Often, I self-edit and delete the words I don’t feel comfortable sharing. I’m a private person, an introvert, and shy. And then, sometimes, I don’t want to hear comments about what was written. Or, in other words “I don’t want to talk about it.”
But, thanks, for letting me share. Because I would never wish to undo these blogging years.
It might help to know that I turned 30 this year. For the most part, 30 seems like just another number. Just another day.
Then, sometimes, 30 seems like the most important number. When I was younger, pictures formed in my head of what my life would look like. Life doesn’t look like that. Yet, most of the time, I’m happy…jumping, smiling happy with my life as it is.
In three years I’ve missed two posts. (Although, this is the 156th post which would mean one post a week for three years, hmm….) It wasn’t relaxing – I thought and worried about those missed posts. At least once a week I think of stopping. Less than two weeks ago I impulsively adopted a large breed, 7-month-old puppy. The new household schedule that keeps the cat, the puppy, and me happy hasn’t been figured out yet. The computer doesn’t always work well, and typing is even hard since the puppy pawed the “p” and the “.” off the keyboa…aahh what is he knocking off the kitchen counter?
Yesterday, I didn’t cook anything. A break would be nice. A break to refresh. A break to decide if this should continue. A break to think about starting new adventures…starting over again. So, I’m taking a vacation, for at least two weeks. Possibly three.
Am I famous yet? No. Of course not.
There’s always lots more to write.